Bathing Suits

So, it's Valentines Day. It's not a day that I go to any effort for whatsoever, anymore. But it wasn't always so and I am recalling one many years ago when I chose to express my affection with gifts other than, heaven forbid, candy, expecially to my chidren. (Yes, I was one of THOSE moms even way back then.) My gift to Amy, probably age 3 or 4 at the time, was her first bikini (one of only a few in her lifetime because she did not, and does not, fancy herself a "bikini girl", unlike her twig-like sister who looked way too good in a bikini way too young. But that is a story for another day.)

Amy's first bikini was sky blue eyelet, and it looked darling on her cherubic little girl body, tasteful and feminine...just MY style for my beloved daughter. But today, as she modeled it in my minds eye, 30+ years after the fact, my memory skipped ahead  to another bathing suit experience a short time later. 

We were shopping in what is now Macy's, and as I looked through one rack, she approached me with something she had pulled from another: a bikini...a gold lamé bikini. "Isn't this beautiful?" she quarried,as serious as could be, as she held it up for me to inspect.. I was appalled; N n way would I ever allow my beautiful little girl to have such a thing  grace her body; a travesty to a mom who had total wardrobe control (among other things), and felt every decision she made for HER children reflected powerfully on HER.

I hope I at least had had the grace to agree with her assessment; I probably didn't. In truth I know for a fact that the words that came from my mouth were "Put it back." I regret that now, would re-write history, if I could. While I don't think denying her her preferred choice in swimwear did any permanent damage, I wish I had seen the bigger picture (ahh! tje wisdom of retrospect!) What would it have hurt for me to have to just said, "Oh, yes! It's divine! Let's get it"? Would it have started her down some path I didn't want her to  travel? Would this just be the tip of the iceberg? Would she become a fashion catastrophe?  Really?....REALLY?!!!. How else does one develop her own sense of style without some experimental forays into a few things that would be better left on the rack? (Let me add that in fifth grade I once chose an ensemble that included a black velvet vest, aqua sweater-knit skirt and red tights!)

This girl still loves bling and has  fine fashion sense. Her own cherubic daughter also loves all things sparkly and already shows an inclination to dress with flair at age 3.  And my daughter, far more gracious than I, with greater vision and more concern for feelings and self-esteem than I ever had, would respond much differently if faced with this same quarry, I believe. " Yes, Emily, it's perfect! We'll get it", I can envision her responding. And they would both laugh one day when the story is recalled. "How could you let me?" I can hear an older Emily ask, and her mother would properly respond, "because you picked it out, and I thought, "what could it hurt?" Yes, indeed...what could it hurt?

There are so many things I did as a young mom that I might change today. Little things, like gold bikinis, were just that: little things, without big consequences.. No, lamé is something I most likely will never embrace, but I should have embraced my young daughter's wish to express herself in ways that delighted her and built her confidence in her own ability to make good decisions, even if they wouldn't have been my choice. After all, there is nothing immoral or illegal about gold lamé.  I wish tthat bikini story (a family favorite) had had a different ending.

 Myabe next year I will search out a gold lamé bikini for Emily. Maybe one for Amy, too. What the heck...gold lamé all around! Won't we be a sight?!